Five Good Reasons to Be Single on V-Day

 Regardless of “status” I don’t celebrate this day.  As mentioned previously I see it as a commercialistic bullshit holiday that has no place in my world. That being said, here are five reasons I think it’s a plus to be single on V-Day.

1.       You don’t have to be subjected to disappointment. I mean, sure, you may be sad about the fact that you are “alone” on this day, but at least you aren’t stuck with a partner who drops the ball on the entire day. I have heard this complaint time and again. I hear them mostly at work, whispers among coworkers saying that their so and so; didn’t propose, forgot to make reservations, only got a card, got drunk, worked late, etc. I chuckle to myself knowing that my evening was not a disappointment, because there was simply no hype to let me down from.

 

2.       Chocolate. That’s right, it’s a bonus. Chocolate you say? Impossible! If you are single there is no way you can obtain chocolate. Right? WRONG. Not only can you actually go out to the store and purchase your own chocolate, you can venture out on February 15^th, and purchase that shit half price! Besides, if you are with someone, that someone most likely forgot to get you anything anyways (see previous) so being single = win.

 

3.       No Lingerie. F*&k that noise. I am not interested in having anyone other than me pick out my undergarments. Sure, I may get a fruit of the loom three pack for Christmas from my mom every year, but otherwise, I am able to locate this stuff on my own. Who benefits from this gift anyhow? I sure as heck don’t. I’ve seen that stuff, I’ve even touched it. It’s not comfortable. There are strappy dealies, lace and fur and other things that are going to pull and itch. Not to mention, what if it’s not the right size, what if it’s, gasp, too small? That will really make you feel sexy eh? If I decide at some point my body belongs in that shit even for a moment, and somehow it looks as it’s suppose too, the gift is yours, not mine. I am glad I’m single; I avoid awkwardly saying thank you and putting that crap on.

 

4.       Money in your pocket. You know what costs money? Valentine’s Day. Even if you just nip out to the store to grab a card to say “I love you”, you are set back at least $5.00. I can think of better ways to spend that money, like on half price chocolate after the day is done. A good old hot dog from a street vendor, that’s a better buy as well, and I could go on (but the other examples are all food as well).

5.       A day to rejoice in the fact that you didn’t settle. Look around at the people you know, and look closely. They may be devouring dinner for two on V-Day in low lighting, but deep down these couples are sitting across from each other daydreaming about stabbing one another in the eye with their fork. I’m not saying all couples are like this, some people are lucky and have found healthy love, but there are a boat load of people who got scared to be alone, and settled. Pat yourself on the back on this day, reminisce about the shits you’ve dated and imagine for a moment how unhappy you could be, and then remember you’re not.