I make jokes about being single in my thirties for the same reason I made jokes about being picked last in school for sports. It helps ease the pain and insecurity I try hard not to feel.
I look around me in my family, work and other personal relationships, and often see a sea of marrieds. When I joke about going home to my video games or my cat, part of me just really wants to make people laugh, the other a tinge of "why am I last?"
In grade school I was often picked last for sports (what cruel teacher even sets shit up this way, no wonder I hated gym). Most commonly, baseball. I can't really sprint, I can't catch, and I can't hit the ball - naturally no one wanted me on their team.
I would always do a little dance as I walked over to the team to get me by default and yell out "I call left field!" and everyone would laugh. I would then suffer through the rest of the game, thinking about how much I hate baseball.
In life now, when people ask me if I'm married or have kids, or when I see the look of pity in peoples eyes, I do the same thing. I do a dance in the form of words and make people laugh.
I'm not sure why I was ever upset in school for being picked last, I never wanted to play in the first place. When it comes to romance, perhaps I feel the same.
I think it's time to call left field again.
